Book of Love Read online

  The medication was wearing off on her tongue and Janice was beginning to feel some discomfort. A nurse came in and gave her a spray bottle of Novocain to spray on her tongue to ease the pain.

  Dr. Bedford came in a half hour later to report his findings. “Hello, Janice. How do you feel?”

  “I’m feeling okay,” Janice answered.

  “Good. I have some good news for you. The spot on your tongue has been successfully removed, and I was able to look at it under a microscope. You do not have cancer. The tissue we removed was benign and precancerous. If it had been left untreated it could have developed into something more serious. I also took some tissues surrounding the cyst to see why it’s inflamed. The tissue around the cyst is scar tissue that never really healed completely. We’ll put you on some antibiotics to treat the infection and some medication to ease the inflammation until it heals. Do you have any questions?”

  “Will this come back?” Janice asked.

  “That, I cannot predict. But if you discovered this again as early as you did with this one, we should be able to remove them before they become cancerous. Any more questions?”

  “I can’t think of anything more right now.”

  “Okay. A nurse will be in shortly to get you out of the bed to walk, and if you can walk, your friend can then take you home. I have your prescriptions here, and I’d like you to schedule an appointment at my office for next week. For the next day or so, I’d like you to stick with liquids to let the spot on your tongue heal before eating solid food.”

  “Okay.”

  * * * *

  The drive back to Janice’s apartment was quiet. Janice stared out the window most of the trip.

  “Janice, you didn’t ask the doctor how you got the scar tissue and the cyst.”

  “The doctor and I already know how it got there,” Janice answered and continued staring out the window.

  They arrived at Janice’s apartment, and Robin followed her inside. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “No, I’m fine. Thank you for taking me.” Janice gave Robin a hug.

  “You’re welcome. I’m going to go to the library to relieve Carly, so if you need anything, give me a call, okay?”

  “Okay, I will.”

  After Robin left, Janice sat in her chair. “Oh my God,” she sobbed to herself through the cascade of tears. She was relieved that the cyst hadn’t been cancerous, but she felt so alone with no one to comfort her and no one to really confide in. How many times would she have to suffer through this? What if she didn’t catch it next time? She would have never known she had that tumor if her tongue hadn’t been sore.

  She stopped crying, then picked up a pillow behind her in the chair and angrily threw it across the room. How can he live with himself, knowing all the pain he’s put me through?

  Maybe he didn’t even know she’d lived through the ordeal. His whole intention was to have her suffer then die. Rarely had anyone ingested potassium hydroxide and lived to tell about it.

  Why couldn’t he have just accepted that their marriage was over and leave her alone? What was wrong with her that he came back to exact revenge on her? Was she that flawed? He had always attacked her verbally, as well as physically. He’d told her she was unattractive, her body was too thin, her hair looked fake, she dressed like a schoolmarm instead of a librarian, her voice was childish and immature. The insults never ended. Was she even worth anything to anyone?

  Then she thought of the library and knew if nothing else she was good at her life’s work. Janice was glad she would be going back to work the next day. It would occupy her thoughts. But for tonight, she called her sister.

  “Hi, Janice,” Amy said as she answered her cellphone.

  “Hi, Amy,” Janice said tearfully.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Janice started crying all over again, and between sobs, she told Amy what she’d done and how she was feeling.

  “Amy, why couldn’t he just leave me alone?”

  “I don’t know. He was just a sick psycho.”

  “But I’m paying for this again and again.” Janice sobbed.

  “Honey, you shouldn’t be going through this alone. Why won’t you come home?”

  “I…I can’t now.” Janice hiccupped.

  “Why not?”

  “I got the job as head librarian, and I’ve got responsibilities and work that needs to be done.”

  “They can find someone else.”

  “I...I really like it here, Amy. I want to try and make it work. I just needed your shoulder to cry on about what happened today.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hound you about coming home when you’re so upset.”

  After an hour on the phone with her sister, Janice hung up and logged on to the website to look for more books.

  Chapter 11

  Janice went to the human resource office to meet Dana Tyson, then brought her to the library and introduced her to everyone. “Robin, Carly, this is Dana Tyson, our new library assistant.”

  “Nice to meet you, Dana,” Robin said and shook her hand.

  “Yes, nice to meet you. This is a really cool place to work,” Carly said.

  Janice showed Dana around the library and explained the programs they currently had going on. After the tour, she took Dana into her office. “What I’d like to have you spend most of your time on is working with Carly on the database and to help maintain the library’s website. But before we do that, I want to have you work with Robin for two weeks on getting the new books catalogued and put on the shelves, the magazines, and newspapers, and so on. That way you’ll have a good idea of how things work. I’m putting you on the same work schedule as Robin so you get the maximum exposure. When we get you working on the cataloguing and the website, we’ll look at what hours you might be interested in working.”

  “Okay,” Dana said enthusiastically.

  “If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to ask any of us.”

  * * * *

  July fourth was one of those holidays where families always came together for family fun. With no family nearby to spend the holiday with Janice decided to spend her day beading, something she loved to do. She went to the table to work on a necklace she’d started.

  By five PM, it was getting hot and muggy, and she was ready for a break. She decided she would go ahead and get her daily exercise in, which was walking around the city park and back, a good three-mile hike. She put her shorts on and a lightweight long-sleeved top, then wrapped a bandana around her neck to hide her scars and grabbed her MP3 player and earphones. She started her warm-ups and began her walk.

  She hadn’t realized until she got to the park that it would be jam-packed with families in the picnic area. She veered to the left to go around the perimeter of the park. She walked around the park, darting in and out and around people as they played, talked, and socialized. She saw a few people she recognized and waved at them and they waved back.

  When she reached the other side of the park she saw Chris and his family. As Chris saw her coming toward him, he stepped out and said, “Hi, Janice.”

  “Hi, Chris.” Janice stopped and pulled the earphones out of her ears. “Family outing?”

  “Yeah, we have our annual July fourth picnic in the park and stay until the fireworks are done. What are you doing for the holiday?”

  “Oh, nothing really. I’ve been working on my beading, but I needed a break and I wanted to get my daily walk around the park done.”

  “Well, stay and eat and spend some time with us,” Chris said.

  “Oh, no. Thank you though.”

  “Why not? It beats staying in the apartment all cooped up, doesn’t it?”

  “I don’t want to impose on your family time together,” Janice replied.

  “You’re not imposing, and I would enjoy the company.”

  “Well, okay, if you don’t think I’d be intruding on your family fun.”

  Chris grabbed Janice’s h
and and pulled her over to the picnic area where his family was.

  “Hi, Janice,” Aaron said.

  “Hi, Aaron.”

  Cheryl and Sandra came up and gave Janice a hug and said, “Glad you could join us.”

  “Alexis, this is Janice. Janice, this is my youngest son Alexis,” Chris introduced them.

  “Nice to meet you, Alexis,” Janice said.

  He looked Janice over and then held out his hand. “Nice to meet you too.”

  “What are you cooking?” Janice asked Chris.

  “Half a pig! Come take a look at it.”

  Janice followed Chris over to the grill and looked at the pig. The grill was huge and on wheels. She had never seen a grill like it before.

  “Wow, that looks good.”

  “It is very good, and I’ll eventually put my very own secret, special sauce on it, which will make it even better,” Chris said enthusiastically.

  Janice laughed. There was just something about men who liked to cook on grills.

  Robin came up and hugged Janice. “Glad you decided to join us,” she said.

  “Oh, thanks. I was actually doing my exercising when Chris stopped me.” She smiled at Robin. “If I had known I’d be eating with you guys, I would have made something to contribute to the meal.”

  “Don’t worry about that. We’ve got that covered, don’t we, girls?” Robin asked Sandra and Cheryl.

  Sandra nodded and grinned, and Cheryl agreed, “Yes, we all made two dishes to pass.”

  Robin introduced Janice to her husband Glen and their daughter Ruthanne. Then Aaron introduced Cathy, and Cheryl brought her husband Dale up and introduced him.

  It was time to eat, and the food was set up buffet style, so Janice put a little bit of everything on her plate, hoping that no one thought it odd that she ate very little food. She sat down at the end of the picnic table and Chris sat down next to her. Aaron and Cathy sat across from her, and then everyone else sat down.

  The kids were chatting back and forth and Janice noticed that they teased their dad a lot, but he seemed to take it in stride. He did get his own digs in too from time to time. It was amazing some of the little secrets that came out during family get-togethers. Like someone being punished for something that another did.

  Janice laughed. “Yes, I had that problem with my sister when we were little. Mother’s makeup got all mashed up one time after my little sister went into her room and put the makeup on all her dolls. Somehow, it ended up being my fault. My sister didn’t confess until much later and we did exactly what you guys are doing now. Boy, was Mom upset when she found out.”

  Chris was sitting at the table with his fingers laced together, his chin resting on his thumbs. “I stopped getting upset and blaming myself real quick after they did this the first time,” Chris told Janice.

  Cheryl looked at her dad and said, “Dad, I never did bad things. I was always good.”

  Aaron rolled his eyes, and Sandra mocked and sneered at her sister. “Yeah, right.”

  Chris chuckled and shook his head. “I admit you were the better one, Cheryl, but you were not innocent. I know a few things you did that you think I don’t know about.” Chris eyed her knowingly.

  “What did I do?”

  He flashed a wide smile, and then said, “You snuck out your back window a few times to go out and meet Dale. I not only waited up for you in my bedroom, I was waiting for you to come home and tell me you were pregnant.”

  Cheryl took a sharp breath in as her lips formed an ‘O.’

  Janice looked at Dale and saw the red creep up his ears as he kept on eating.

  Chris chuckled quietly.

  Aaron’s eyes got really big and he was laughing. “You? Ms. Know-It-All-Kiss-Dad’s- Butt-Sister?”

  “Oh, shut up, Aaron.” Cheryl stuck her tongue out at him.

  Cathy was shaking her head, and she winked at Dale.

  “One of the best things I ever bought was a dishwasher. I always had this issue with the kids. I had four dishwashers in the house, and none of them worked,” Chris said somewhat cocky.

  Alexis rolled his eyes and shook his head, smiling.

  “If it did work, then someone got in a fight about it and there would be water and dish soap all over the kitchen.”

  “Yeah, well, it was always Aaron doing that. You never punished him for it either, and you always said you didn’t want to hear whose fault it was, it was to be cleaned up, and I always got stuck with the job,” Cheryl said.

  Aaron looked at his sister in mock horror. “Me? I don’t think so. You were always throwing dishes at me.”

  “I did not,” Cheryl retorted smartly.

  Alexis started laughing.

  “What are you laughing about, Alexis? You were in the middle of it,” Cheryl said, glaring at him.

  “I didn’t do anything,” Alexis answered back between fits of laughter.

  After everyone had eaten their fill, Aaron and Alexis went to play volleyball while the rest of them cleaned up the area.

  Everything was soon cleaned up and the pig was split down the middle and wrapped and put away.

  “Do you like to play volleyball, Janice?” Chris asked.

  “I used to love it when I was in college, but I haven’t played in years.”

  “Well, come on, let’s get in the game and show these young ones how it’s done.” He grabbed her hand, and they walked to where Aaron and Alexis were forming their teams.

  Then Robin, Glen, and their daughter Ruthanne came to play. Cheryl and Dale came in, and then Sandra joined. Janice was having a blast. She’d forgotten how much she enjoyed the game. After three games, they decided it was time to quit. The sun was starting to go down, and soon the fireworks would start.

  They pulled out lawn chairs and everyone sat down. Chris got an extra chair out for Janice and she sat next to him. Someone took a soft drink order and went to get the drinks, and another went to get the snacks—chips, s’mores, and marshmallows—and they all sat around a small campfire, telling stories and laughing.

  Finally the fireworks began. There was a spectacular display of colors, and everyone ooohhhed and aaahhhhed as the fireworks went up into the night sky. After the firework display was done, everyone started to pack things up and head home.

  Chris told Janice, “I’ll give you a ride home. You shouldn’t be walking out here this late at night by yourself.” They waited until everyone had left, and then Chris turned to Janice and said, “Let’s take a stroll around the park first. I’m still kind of keyed up from all the activities.”

  “Okay,” she replied, smiling up at Chris.

  Chris bent over and put his hand gently on the side of Janice’s face and kissed her. He then took her hand in his, and they walked slowly around the park. Occasionally Chris stopped to talk to someone, or help someone load stuff up as people were leaving the park. Some folks still hung around the various campfires and a few were even making out on the park lawn.

  After the walk around the park, they got into Chris’s truck and he drove to Janice’s apartment. They got out, and she unlocked the door and walked inside, turning on the light in the kitchen. She went into the living room and turned the light on in there as well.

  She went back to the kitchen and Chris gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into an embrace. He seemed to be peering at her intently. She wondered if she was ready for him to make love to her. He started to kiss her, and the touch of his lips was a delicious sensation. She kissed him back with abandonment. She put her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair.

  His hands began to roam her body and search out those areas that created sparks in her. He slowly reached up to take off the bandana she had around her neck, then she realized what she had done. The last thing she wanted was for Chris to start to make love to her and take her clothing off and see her scars. She started to pull away when his cellphone rang.

  He looked at the screen, then flipped the phone open and said, “Yeah, Alexis.�
� He paused and a look of concern filled his face. “Okay, calm down, Robin. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He snapped the phone shut and walked to the door. “Robin’s house is on fire. I’ve got to go.”

  “Oh no. Is everyone okay?” Janice asked as she followed Chris to the door.

  “Yeah, she said everyone’s okay and the fire truck is on its way there.”

  “Let me know how things go later if you have time, and tell her I’m thinking of her.”

  “Okay.” Chris kissed Janice on the mouth one last time and then left.

  Secretly, she was thankful that the cellphone had interrupted them. She didn’t know how she would have explained that she didn’t want to make love. Not that she didn’t want to—she did. But she wasn’t ready to explain her scars to him. She felt ashamed of the scars, because to her it showed her as being weak. It showed she was unable to get out of the situation that she was in that caused her to get scarred.

  Plus, she was afraid. She was afraid that Chris wouldn’t want to make love to her after he saw the scars. She knew he wouldn’t tell her that they were grotesque—he wouldn’t be that mean—but she would be able to see it in his eyes. She didn’t want to see his revulsion, and she didn’t want to see his pity.

  * * * *

  Alexis left the picnic area when everyone else did and drove over to the Water Jug bar for a drink before going home. He was tired, but wanted to get a nightcap and maybe talk to the waitress named Michelle, if she was working tonight. He entered the bar and walked up to the counter.

  “What will you have, Alexis?” John Hammand, the bar owner, asked.

  “Bud Light on draft.” Alexis looked around and was disappointed he didn’t see Michelle.

  John poured Alexis a glass of beer and set it in front of him. “Where have you been lately? Haven’t seen you around much.”

  “Oh, I’ve cut back on drinking and hanging out, trying to get my bills paid. Is Michelle around tonight?” he asked, hoping maybe she was on a break.

  “No, she’s off tonight, spending some time with family.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  Alexis sat at the bar and downed his drink. Deciding there was nothing else to do, he slapped a five dollar bill on the counter and got up. “See you later, John.”